#105 Updating your version of success with Anna Buffini

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:00:01-00:00:05]
In this episode, we're talking with U.S. Dressage rider Anna Buffini.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:00:06-00:00:32]
Try and have a full life while you're chasing whatever dream you're chasing. Because in the end, whether you get to success or whether you fail, it's really the journey you remember. You stand on the podium or you miss out on the Olympics and it's like, My memories aren't the day I won or the day I lost. My memories are the whole journey along. And I would say really focus on making the journey a fuller life.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:00:33-00:01:21]
Welcome to the Equestrian Connection podcast from WeHorse. My name is Danielle Kroll and I'm your host. Anna Buffini is a professional dressage rider with accomplishments such as being a two times World Cup finalist, four times Senior Nations Cup team member, the 2016 Under 25 National Champion and the 2014 U.S. Young Rider Champion. Anna is such an inspiration to many riders and a role model for equestrians of all ages. This is our second podcast interview together, and we're catching up to see what she's up to these days and what's changed since we last spoke about four years ago. So let's dive in. Anna, welcome back to the WeHorse podcast. I was just saying before we started recording that like I'm I'm just so excited for this conversation. So welcome back.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:01:22-00:01:32]
Thank you. I'm excited to be here. You're really my first podcast post kind of not competing anymore. It's exciting to start with you.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:01:33-00:01:39]
That's awesome. I feel like we should have like that, like, like breaking news. Breaking news, everyone.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:01:39-00:01:44]
Oh, I've got some, I've got some breaking news on here too. So you're going to be the first to hear something.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:01:45-00:02:14]
Okay. Oh my gosh, this is incredible. All right. So the first time we did a podcast, it's literally been like four years. I think it was 2022. I think you're a podcast 14. Which is wild or something like that. Don't quote me on that. It's around there. But it's just, it's wild to think it was four years ago. And there's been some pretty big change for you, not only within those past four years, but even just recently as well. So can you fill us in on what life is looking like for you now?

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:02:14-00:04:05]
Yeah. So after 2022, I was able to make the world cup. I was able to make more nations cup teams, made it to Olympic trials, dream come true. And then last year I kind of hit a wall with my career and just kind of the direction I was going. I, had tried to build a pipeline of horses for the last 10 years. And it's been a pretty devastating story through that, that I haven't fully shared, um, which I probably will today. So some more news. Um, and it just, I really felt like it was a healthy thing for me to take a step back from competing and it was really hard. It wasn't just like, Oh, I hate this. I'm burnout. I'm done. Like forget this sport. It was like, I love this sport. I've poured my entire life into it. I've given everything. I've tried so hard. And I just feel like the healthiest thing for me to do right now is take a step back. And it was so hard, but it really was the right thing to do. I still don't know if I'm going to come back or not, but I know that whatever comes next and what is coming next is truly from like the healthiest place I've ever been. And I couldn't have gotten there without this whole journey. So I'm not like, oh, you know, like I hated my journey. It was so dark. It was so beautiful. It was so hard. There were so many. Great highs and great lows. Um, and I didn't take a step back cause I hated anything, which is what I love. You know, it's not, it's not a bitter ending. It was just an ending of like, it needed to happen. And I've grown so much through this past year. And I really am excited for the future because, um, I think what I'm hoping to build can only have happened through taking a step back.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:04:07-00:05:29]
There's a quote that I love that says, I just don't want this for myself anymore is a valid reason to stop anything. And I try to keep that in mind anytime that I'm thinking, like, you know, I've put so much time into this or like any of those other excuses that we come up with, as well as the other voices that we might hear from like family and friends. or people that don't even know us, you know, and they're, they just, you know, give their unsolicited advice. And one of the things you said was, you know, your decision where you're thinking like, I don't know, is, is this where I'm going to stay or will I come back into the sport? I have no idea. And, you know, that's such a beautiful thing about life is that we are able to kind of ebb and flow and, you know, come and go and nothing has to be concrete. And sometimes I think we forget that. And we think like, well, I've already put this much time into it. I have to stay. Or I told people I was going to. So I have to keep going. You know, and it's just not necessarily the case. And you're such an inspiration to so many people on and off, you know, the horse in and out of the saddle with your. Public showcase of that, you know, to show people what it looks like to see someone say, I'm going to do this for myself. And I just think it's so beautiful. So I want to commend you for that.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:05:30-00:05:31]
Thank you. Thank you.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:05:32-00:05:33]
What was that decision like for you?

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:05:34-00:09:18]
Yeah, it will hearing you say that now I've gotten to the place where it's like, it's okay for I'm done for now to be enough. Like that is okay, because I felt like I've been training for 20 years. Everybody knows my goals. I wanted to try and make the Olympics since I was three. And, you know, more than that, just like competed a high level US teams. And I was so worried about. everyone's perception until it got to a place where I was like, I don't care about what anybody thinks. I have to take a step back. Um, and a huge part of it was like, I've been building this pipeline of horses and I had gotten five babies because the sport is so expensive. And me and my dad were a business team and we worked so hard together. He would flip houses and then I would train and we would tackle the sport together. And that's how we were able to get Fientini. She was He had this one house he got when he was 20 and he flipped it and flipped it and flipped it. And he was like, I'm going to save this flip for something special. And Fientini came. And so that's how he got her. I love that. It wasn't just like, yeah, it was so special that, you know, that's where it came from. But it wasn't like, oh, here I have all this. It was like. 20 years of him working to be able to get that one horse for that one shot. Um, and yeah, so just along the years, like I had, we got five baby horses, three of them passed away. Like one had tumors, one essentially broke a leg, one, um, like just, you know, down the line, one was neurological, one. Was for three months after I started him was like lame for life. And I wrote him three times, you know, so just freak things. He grew from seven or 16 hands to 17, three in six months. So just freak things happen. And that's something people don't see. It's like every horse rider I'd, don't care who you're watching. They are all struggling. They're all going through the hardest time. And just because they're having a great time on Instagram does not mean they're having an easy time in life. And it doesn't mean they're lying. Like, I don't think we either also have to show all the hard parts either because it is subject to so much judgment. So, um, It's just, there's so much going on behind the scenes people don't see. And it wasn't really like it got to a point where I was like, I it's, it's getting too hard. It just got to a point where I was like, there is no path right now. Like she and Tini had been written in a certain way her whole life that I, um, wouldn't ride her in and wouldn't, I just treated her a different way. And I refused to do some things that were done to her in the past. And that led to like her having, you know, a bad mouth. Like I'm not going to put the nose man super tight. So, um, she's a mouthy girl. She's been mouthy since she was young and it's, especially nowadays, it's no longer accepted in the sport at all to have a mouthy horse. And that's fair enough. Like sometimes it is a sign of a horse being mistreated. Sometimes the horse has a bad mouth. It's so, it's so hard, this sport. Everybody's trying their best, but truly like I have no horses. Like it got to my pipeline passed away or was. Unhealthy from freak things, five, six horses. And, um, there's just nowhere to go after Fio just didn't want workout because of her, her mouth issues and stuff. Um, and I just was like, I, again, like I, even right now, I feel like I need to give an unbelievable answer to you as to why I stopped. Like, I'm like, okay, what's, what are people going to think?

[SPEAKER 3]
[00:09:18-00:09:20]
And I'm literally expecting nothing.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:09:20-00:11:10]
Yeah. Which is why we all love you. But, you know, I'm like, what's going to be a headline tomorrow based on what I say right now? Or, you know, all those, all that stuff. And it just simply was like, I. Had no more horses and I was tired and I didn't want to keep competing at that moment. And I felt like a loser for thinking that I felt like, I mean, you see Catherine Dufour and Lottie Fry and they are just absolute bosses and pushing it and riding 20 horses a day and, you know, so successful. And it's so easy to be like, I'm such a loser. Look at them. And I'm just like, I've been in rooms with them. They are normal people. They have normal struggles. We just don't see it all. And they have different lives. And I'm so happy for them. And my life is different. And the fact that I thought I would be so hated for walking away and called lazy and, you know, a loser and whatever. The opposite happened. Like people, my, my followers are so wonderful because I think we really created a community of like the bases that we love horses. Like that is it. The base isn't we want to be successful. The base is that we love horses and we want to be better for our horses. We want to be better for ourselves. And more than anything, I've gotten so many DMs about people who have been on the same journey. And how relatable it is what I've been through and how people have been inspired and encouraged to walk the same journey I have and who have felt less shame because I am a more public figure in the sport and I'm more vulnerable about it. And they don't feel alone. And I'm just like, well, if that isn't success, what is? So I'm. A long answer, but that's a lot of pieces of it.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:11:12-00:14:19]
I love it. I have to say, so you posted something recently. There's a carousel post. It was kind of like the behind the scenes moment as a writer. And you were really sharing some... Like of the real, you know, we, like you said earlier, there's a highlight reel that we see on social media and then there's the real, so R-E-E-L or R-E-A-L of the real, you know, and it was so refreshing to see that side of, of things like you just mentioned. One of the things that stood out to me, especially within that, was there was a like a day in the life thing that followed you and did an interview or something like that. I'm kind of, you know, doing this off memory here, paraphrasing it. And people were calling you a lazy. Z rider because you specifically wanted to highlight a day that wasn't such a grind because you didn't want people to idolize that and think I have to push myself to like the brink of exhaustion in order to find success. And instead you got, you know, a little bit of flack for that. One of the things when you said I was just really tired as well is such a permission slip for so many of us. I'm not a competitive rider. I just, you know, I call it bebopping around with my horses. We just kind of, we have fun here. I have my own small farm. And I am the one on the ground doing all of the work. And so yesterday in particular, it was a day that I thought, I'm going to, you know, I'm going to work with both my horses, you know, the afternoon. And so in the morning, I was cleaning all the paddocks. Took me about two hours to pick all the paddocks. And then in the afternoon. We're starting a new pasture for my horses. So my dad came up with his tractor. He mowed the pasture. I was hauling out all of the dead stuff that we cut over the winter and we didn't clear because we had so much snow. So I'm hauling all of these dead branches, all of these, you know, dead things that we're trying to clear off to make our pasture and was completely exhausted. It was so hot. And I get inside and I thought, here I am putting in so much work for my horses and I don't have the energy to run my horses. And it is, it's real life. It's real life to say we are all equestrians, whether you're competing or whether you're not, we're all doing our own version of a grind for our horses. And this. idea, this highlight reel that we're all supposed to be, you know, having these like beautiful, magical rides or working towards these goals when it's sometimes just not reality to see it from someone such as yourself who, you know, has so many accolades to say, I'm really tired and I don't think I want to do that anymore right now. Is a permission slip for the rest of us to say, I'm kind of tired too.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:14:21-00:14:21]
Yeah.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:14:22-00:14:27]
So it's just really refreshing. I have no question within that. I just wanted to say it.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:14:28-00:14:54]
No, I love that. And it's like, that's the thing you don't think about, you know, you see the top, there's such a small number of high performance riders because it's so hard and so expensive to get to. And it's like the majority of people are working their lives away in a corporate job, you know, raising families and trying to make their horse dreams come alive. And I'm like, that's actually the majority of the sport. So it's like, if we're not supporting that part of the sport, like, what are we doing?

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:14:54-00:14:54]
Yeah.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:14:54-00:15:47]
And that's why I just, I've always said this. I always go back to, if you. are absolutely doing your best and you have a horse that is happy and loved and fed and knows they're cared for, like you have won. I know. And it sounds cliche and I know it's like, oh, happy days, but I'm just like, I've been to the, I've been to the top. I've seen the top. I've been in almost every big competition. I've seen all the top riders and most of them are not that happy because we're just striving for more. There's always problems everywhere. And I'm just like, if you have a happy loved horse, you do not have to try anything else. Like you have one. So you are riding, you're training, you're living from a place of like victory almost because you've done it. It's like, it doesn't matter if you win WEG, if you're miserable and your horse is miserable, it just doesn't, in my opinion.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:15:47-00:16:01]
Completely agree. I love that so much. What are some things you've stopped apologizing for as an equestrian, whether it's like behind the scenes within the industry itself or also publicly on social media or anywhere else?

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:16:01-00:17:15]
Yeah, I think I've stopped apologizing for. Being vulnerable and honest and for keeping things to myself. I think like that article was one of the first times, you know, everybody called me lazy. I knew exactly like my intention. I knew what was going on. And I just turned off Facebook and let the comments roll and stopped explaining myself because there will always be someone who picks. You will. part in, in life too, not just a public figure, anybody, you know, people at work, other moms, other, other work friends, you know? So, um, yeah, I've stopped apologizing for not having to explain myself and it puts a lot of, uh, weight on your integrity. So it's like, you need to live with a lot of honesty and integrity if you're not going to explain yourself. But I also, Like I've, I have a lot of people I think that have seen me live life, um, that would and have stuck up for me, which is really cool. So, um, I'm just, yeah, I'm kind of there and yeah, just not, I'm not apologizing for, um, trying to be as healthy as possible.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:17:17-00:17:20]
Yeah. I love it so much. I feel like I just keep repeating that.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:17:21-00:17:21]
Yeah.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:17:22-00:17:42]
Was there like specific moments? So like thinking back where you thought, I think I'm chasing someone else's version of success rather than my own. And then like needing to redefine your specific version of success. Like, was there anything that stood out or was it kind of like a tidal wave of like. Accumulation of events.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:17:43-00:19:34]
It was almost like my version of success was too intense, too much, kind of. Like I sacrifice so much and, and yes, you have to, you have to be all in, you have to be obsessive about something, but I, I think that's why I always say, especially the younger riders, really make sure you find things outside the sport that you like doing that can fulfill you outside of the sport. Because I was just so I would not date. I didn't really have friends. I didn't you know, I I was just like horses train horses train. And yes, to some degree, you have to be obsessive. But not to the point where when it goes away or when it's not going well, you have nothing. Like you need to try and have a full life while you're chasing whatever dream you're chasing. Because in the end, whether you get to success or whether you fail, it's really the journey you remember. You know, you get you stand on the podium or you miss out on the Olympics and it's like. My memories aren't the day I won or the day I lost. My memories are the whole journey along. And I would say really focus on making the journey a fuller life. And I think that's what taking a break has really helped me do. Like I... Have a great like church community. Now I have more friends. I have a fiance. Like I was, I was literally like, you know what, I'm just going to be single and 60 and riding. And I'm just like that. And not that there's something wrong with that, if that's your calling, but mine was more out of like, I'm going to try and do this the hardest way possible and the most intense way possible. And I think there's, you need to have a balance. So I think if I do come back, it will be very, Balance. I almost feel like, you know, Alyssa Liu from the Olympics. Yes. Love her.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:19:35-00:19:35]
Yes.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:19:35-00:19:57]
I feel like if I come back, it'll be like those vibes. Like the pressure is so different. I'm going to enjoy the journey even more like I did, but just even more, I'm going to have a more balanced journey. And it like even more than ever will not matter what anyone thinks or says. Yeah.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:19:57-00:20:10]
Yes. Yeah, absolutely. You mentioned, so you're not competitively riding at the moment. However, you are, and correct me if I'm wrong, still coaching. And did I see like little hints about maybe doing some clinics?

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:20:10-00:20:16]
Yes. So that is one of the breaking news is I'll break two at the same time. Oh, gosh.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:20:16-00:20:17]
Okay. Here we go. Listen in.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:20:19-00:20:43]
Okay. So I've been teaching a little bit here and there, a lot of friends and like I sold Flynn Rider, my horse, and I still train him, but it's been, I pulled back so much because I needed like a year off. And so I am going to announce that I'm going to start training again, taking on clients, especially online after my wedding, which is in July in Hawaii.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:20:43-00:20:53]
This year? Oh my gosh, that's so exciting. Literally, I would have been told to anyone. That would be so nice. That would be so nice.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:20:53-00:21:03]
Yeah. So maybe I'll do a like fit check and then I'll tell everyone I'm open for lessons. Something like that in the dress. But yeah.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:21:05-00:21:07]
I'm just like envisioning that right now.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:21:07-00:21:46]
Oh yeah. I have the content already in my head. It's going to be fun. But yeah, so I still work for, I work in marketing right now in a corporate job, but I miss teaching. I miss riding. I miss being with the horses. I miss being outside. I miss just helping see those breakthroughs with people. So. I am going to start training full time again and clinics will probably start the next year. But yeah, I'm going to I'm going to start again and I'm really excited. And then you never know if that opens doors to competing again. So absolutely.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:21:46-00:21:52]
Absolutely. Did I hear you say you're doing it? Online lessons because I mean, we have a global audience here that's listening, right?

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:21:52-00:22:23]
So yes, yes. So I, that's actually the most of what I do right now. And it has been so cool. Yeah. So yeah, I do online lessons. You can do it with FaceTime. If you have AirPods, um, you can do with Pivo, Pixem, there's so many ways to do it. And yeah, it's, it's been so cool. Cause you can help anyone around the world, around the country, um, who may not have access to trainers. And, um, yeah, so it's been really fun. I just taught someone in the UK. I have someone from Ireland and maybe Australia soon.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:22:24-00:22:59]
So I love it. That's so cool. That's so good. Yeah. It's, it's, I'm loving, there's so many things. And I'm like, you know, you see what different techno, like talk technological, there we go. Advances. And you're like, okay, I'm nervous for the future. And then there's some things like this. It is so awesome, you know, that we are able to have access to, you know, incredible trainers such as yourself anywhere in the world. It doesn't have to be like, you know, we don't have to be living in Florida or any of the other hotspots. So it's, that's so exciting.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:23:00-00:23:23]
It's really exciting. And again, like, I think it's so much more important to think of like, what, how do you want to leave the sport better? And I think my version of it. Is like really trying to help people any, any level, wherever they're at in their journey to help them find more joy in their riding journey and to help them and their horses be better and happier together.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:23:24-00:24:00]
So awesome. I want to ask for a little bit of like listener advice from you, if that's okay. So the first one is like the permission of acknowledging what people not only want for themselves, but also for their horses and together in partnership for their horses, rather than just, you know, following along with maybe what's expectations of. What they think others think of themselves or that they are putting on themselves. And so can you share some advice for our listeners on listening to their intuition and trusting the things that they feel that they want?

[SPEAKER 4]
[00:24:00-00:24:01]
And need.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:24:02-00:24:20]
Yeah, that's a huge one because I think as perfectionists, for the most part, horse riders, we're looking for the perfect answer. We're looking for the most assurance. And it's hard to accept this, especially since I think a lot of riders have OCD like myself.

[SPEAKER 4]
[00:24:21-00:24:26]
So funny, the traits that like, yeah, it's a horse girl thing. So specific. Yeah.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:24:26-00:26:41]
And it helps so much. And it like tortures you at the same time. So I would say number one, if you can go to therapy, it's helped me so much. Just like manage that OCD. But yeah, I would say. Usually your gut feeling is the one you need to follow first. If you, and again, this is like, if you're a good person, you know, if you're, if you have good help, if you're on the right track, if you have ideas to bounce around, but, um, I always say trust your intuition because eventually it's going to get so loud. You're going to have to follow it. So that kind of was, that's what happened with me. I was kind of like, I am, there's not a lot of joy in this right now for me. I'm struggling like a lot mentally and like physically, I was so beat up. I was really worried about the future and people's perceptions. And in the back of my head, I was just like, I just don't see a way forward right now. I don't see a future right now. I don't have any horses. Like, what am I? And it just got to a point where I was like, my intuition. just got to a point where it was completely the truth. So I would say don't ignore it and don't shame yourself for it. It's so easy to be like, well, then I'm just a wimp because I want to take a break or I'm just this or I'm just that, you know, don't, don't attack yourself. Don't shame yourself for being human. Like. That is just, it's just the devil. It's lies. It's not, it's, it's getting you farther away from the finish line, you know? So you, you want to like run your race well. And every time you doubt yourself or go into shame or fear, you're kind of pushing the finish line farther away instead of like, let me work through this. Let me kind of accept myself and like love myself through this. And how do I get to the next step? So I think that's a big one for me. And I, and I know it's for other writers, especially who struggle with perfectionism. You have a shame in your gut instinct and your intuition because it's real and it's human. And it's not like what you see online of these, perfect people, but they're not perfect either. So you really have to trust yourself and really have to make sure that you are the healthiest version of you.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:26:43-00:27:30]
Absolutely. And now I know that you had said that you realized you weren't necessarily chasing someone else's version of success. You were, you know, you had your own version and you realized that what you had in mind for success, maybe wasn't actually what you wanted. And so if somebody else has struggled, with that. So whether it is realizing that they were going down a path of a dream that maybe isn't what they want after all, or not right now, or they were going after a path that they saw other people going down and they thought, well, I should, you know, notice my word of my use of the word should, I should go that way too. What is your advice on that of, you know, kind of sitting with, is this what I want?

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:27:31-00:29:41]
Yeah, I think a big thing is when you get that anxiety, it feels like it's urgent to make a decision. And that is not... Accurate most of the time. It like, give yourself some grace, take a second while you're making your decision. If it's not, you know, an extreme situation, don't let it be urgent. Don't let your subconscious, your nervous system speed up the process because you're like, you have to figure this out right now. You have to be okay right now. Why are you thinking this? What's going on? Um, so that was just a big one for me. Don't let those big decisions feel urgent. Um, and give yourself grace through that decision-making process. Um, and you're going to freak out. I'm going to like, let me tell you, you are going to freak out. You're going to feel like you made the wrong decision. It's not. not always going to feel good. I think a lot of life is learning to sit and being uncomfortable. Like life is hard. And the more you're able to sit and process in that uncomfortability, the more you'll be able to like, take a step back, look at the bigger picture. And take the right steps for yourself. I was watching there. I like UFC, my fiance and I love UFC. And, um, there's this fighter and I was listening to his podcast yesterday and he just won this gigantic fight and he won the belt. And, and it was because he's been in so many fights where it has been so uncomfortable and so painful. And the other guy was undefeated. And he'd never been that uncomfortable before. But the guy who was the underdog, he was able to just stay uncomfortable for so long and not panic and sit in it. And he ended up in the long run winning. So that was a lot of words to basically say, like, be patient, don't rush, give yourself grace and learning to be uncomfortable or learning to be. Patient when it's uncomfortable is one of the biggest life skills you can have regardless of what you do in your life.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:29:43-00:29:48]
Well, I don't know if any of the listeners resonated with that, but I feel like you were literally speaking to me. So thank you.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:29:52-00:30:18]
Oh, it's, it's so hard, but it's just, it's more like, yeah, how can I, how many tools can I keep learning? to help me get through life. I feel like that's what I do with riders. I always say my job is to give you tools. So when you go in the ring, you can pull a tool out of your toolkit to fix whatever your horse throws at you. But it's the same with life. It's like, how many tools can you get to help yourself mentally, emotionally, physically, um, get through life. So it's just daily, daily learning.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:30:18-00:31:45]
Absolutely. I have a question about the idea of being a role model. So as a professional rider, there's a certain role model status that you can have with that. So somebody could be, you know, seen as a role model because, oh, I want to ride like them or I want to get to their level of success. And you might not know anything about them as an actual human being, but you have kind of an idea of who they are as an athlete. And so there's kind of that level of being a role model. And then you look at, we'll say like your level of being a role model where we see. The kind of human that you are as well. And the human as a rider where, you know, you, you show up and you speak out about the industry, like you've, you know, kind of poked fun a bit at the industry that does actually acknowledge some of the real issues that are going on. Like I said earlier, you have been a role model for giving other equestrians permission. You know, you advocate for mental health and also, you know, health in general. And all of that is so important, not only in this industry, but in, you know, the world as a whole. And so I I'd love to know if your role as a role model has shifted at all. Does it feel like there's more pressure on yourself or how you show up as a human, not just as, you know, an equestrian?

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:31:47-00:34:40]
That's such a good question. I would say, again, going back to the, what are you not apologizing for anymore? I'd say there's less pressure than ever while I'm revealing more of myself than ever, because I've just gotten to a place where. Other people's thoughts aren't allowed to be louder than my own who aren't living my life, who aren't walking in my footsteps. Um, so yeah, I think again, by the way, that line right there. So good. Yeah. So I would actually say I have less pressure than ever. I would say I still, if I did make a comeback, I know I'd be feeling a lot of pressure. So, and that's something right now I'm actually mentally working on for when I do come back, really keeping it like. That Alyssa Liu kind of example, because I know how I did it before and putting so much pressure on yourself. It does help in a way. Like there's a reason we put pressure on ourselves. It helps us perform better and work harder. But I would say like I'm in the season of like mentally preparing if I do ever come back. To make sure that the, I, I treat it like more of a full, I just treat it healthier. You know, like I'm, if I come back, I'm going to be married. And I'm like, marriage is no joke. You know, there's like a 50% divorce rate. Um, so it's like marriage is a very, very serious thing that I take very seriously. So it's not going to be like, oh yeah, like my little marriage and I ride horses and that's the most important thing in my life. I'm like, my marriage is going to be the most important thing in my life besides my relationship with God. And then it's going to be horses. And then it's, you know, so, um, I think having my priorities, knowing what I want and I'm a big preparation girl. So if I, if I do come back right now, I'm mentally preparing for how I want to handle it, how I want to be. Um, and again, I'm so excited for the, for the community that I have behind me and, and say, I say, I don't make it come back. Like I also want to be, I want to golf a lot. My, my fiance is a scratch golfer. He's amazing. He's going to like compete even more and more. Um, maybe I want to golf. Like my fiance is a real estate agent. I also want to help him out in real estate and in the marketing side. And, you know, so if I switch to that, I know that I will give it my all and I will still have to take these principles, you know, like I could put unhealthy pressure on myself trying to be a new golfer or trying to, you know, help him, um, in his real estate business. So it's, it is all the same right now. The most experience I have is with athletics and, and horses, but say I switch to those things. I want to approach that healthily too. So this year has really given me that time and that space to approach the next season of my life in a healthier way.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:34:40-00:35:20]
Hmm. That's so smart too, because like you said, it's like, if you resource yourself with the tools in one area of your life, then you can bring them into the other areas so that you're not saying, oh, here's the, you know, the changes that I'm going to make in this area. And then I repeat all of the, you know, things, you know, in other areas as well. Instead, it's like, no, okay, I'm, I'm setting myself up for success. As I move forward and whatever it is that I move forward in, in all of the areas. So it's just it's so smart before, you know, you dive into those things.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:35:21-00:36:34]
Yeah. And I think I always want to make sure I don't come off either as like the finished product or like I'm so healthy now. I'm great and happy. Like I struggle so much. I struggle all the time. But to me, it's like the struggle is what's led me to have this advice. So it's it's almost well for me like it is a blessing to go through struggles because for for me like it makes me pray a lot because um like I have to go to God with all my struggles but it also just Without pain, you don't have the answers to the pain, you know, like until you go through it, you don't know how to get through it. And then you have the answers after it. So sometimes. seeing like suffering through the lens of what an opportunity you have and how much like wiser you're going to be after it. So just, I never want to come off like I'm just perfect and doing great. Like I struggle every day and like, I, you know, I, I have pretty severe OCD. So it's something that I have to work on. Um, and I don't have horses to focus that OCD on, you know? So, um, And it's, I'm not here saying do all this because I'm perfect. I'm here saying this is what I've learned because I've struggled so much and I am struggling so much and I'm in this with, with everyone.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:36:36-00:37:12]
Well, I have to say there are those top female athletes that we look at as not only incredible athletes, but also as incredible role models. There's the Gabby's, there's the Alyssa's, and now there's the Anna's. So it's just, yeah, I have no words. I'm just, I'm so grateful that you're in the space speaking so publicly about this. Because it's so needed. It's so necessary. And I'm just like myself and I'm sure many listeners, we're all just also grateful for you.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:37:13-00:37:23]
Well, thank you. And thank you for giving us platforms to do this with and having just great questions and taking care of us so much. And it's such an honor to be on, honestly.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:37:24-00:38:28]
Do you wish you could have a better partnership with your horse, but aren't sure where to start? Do you want to advance your... riding or horsemanship but don't have access to the ideal resources in your area? Does the idea of learning about horse training whenever and wherever and at a price that won't break your horse bank sound appealing to you? Check out wehorse.com to access over 175 online courses with top trainers from around the world. We have courses on everything from dressage to groundwork to show jumping to body work. And as a member, you get access to everything in our WeHorse library to watch whenever you want. Oh, and we also have an app, which means you can download a course or video to watch without Wi-Fi, which is perfect for those days at the prime when you want a quick dose of training inspiration before your ride. So what are you waiting for? Go to wehorse.com and check out our free seven-day trial to access our WeHorse library and see if it's a good fit for you. We can't wait to see you in there. And now back to the episode.

[SPEAKER 5]
[00:38:29-00:38:36]
All right. I want one more question. What are you excited about right now? Other than, you know, obviously very exciting. Yeah. I'm so excited about getting married.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:38:39-00:39:16]
I'm, I'm really excited to start teaching again. I started with a few more friends the past week and it has brought such joy into my life. And truly like, I'm so excited to start teaching again. And I'm excited to, um, really like honestly be a better golfer. Like it's, it's, Such an amazing path for my like competitiveness and learning something new. And then, and I'm excited to, um, help my fiance, um, you know, with real estate and getting leads and marketing. And, uh, so those are, those are the biggest ones. Yeah.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:39:16-00:39:31]
Awesome. Awesome. I have to say my husband is a golfer as well. Um, I'm a walker. So sometimes we'll do like a little couple's night and he'll golf and I'll just go for the walk. So that's perfect. It's always an option if golfing doesn't work out.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:39:33-00:39:36]
Perfect. I love walking. So I'll take that advice. Thank you.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:39:37-00:39:52]
I have our four rapid fire questions. So we asked them like four years ago now, they could be completely different answers. And I'm sure that they will be. It's just the first thing that comes to your mind. The first one is, do you have a motto or favorite saying?

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:39:52-00:40:12]
It might be the same as four years ago, but my trainer, Grunter, when I first started training with him said, never train emotionally. And that just stuck with me. And it's through life too, but, um, you can, it's okay to be emotional. Don't shame yourself for being emotional, but don't react to your horse emotionally. Like you have to be so steady, um, to be fair to them.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:40:13-00:40:17]
That actually might've been your response, but it's like, it's so good.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:40:19-00:40:20]
It's clearly still my favorite.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:40:22-00:40:25]
The second one, who has been the most influential person in your equestrian journey?

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:40:26-00:41:12]
Probably the same. My trainer, Gunter Seidel. He is, he's such a rock. He's taught me so much, but more than anything, he's one of the best American Olympians of all time and equestrian. And he taught me how to be my own person, my own writer. He gave me the tools so that I could go be independent instead of like holding onto that control that a lot of trainers tend to do. And that's really the reason I'm able to be, um, so much of who I am in the sport today and be a trainer. And that's who I want to be in the sport to other writers. And he's German. So, and I'm like sensitive and emotional and I get along with the pragmatic Germans and my fiance is also has German roots. So I'm like, it just tracks.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:41:12-00:41:13]
It just tracks.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:41:13-00:41:14]
Yeah.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:41:15-00:41:20]
The next one, please complete this sentence. For me, horses are...

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:41:21-00:41:37]
For me, horses are still one of the reasons I smile every day. Like I know it's so basic, but you just think of them and you smile. And I'm like, what a blessing to have something that can make you happy in this hard world.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:41:37-00:41:46]
Absolutely. Last thing, where can people find you? How can they connect with you? Find out about your new online lessons, all of the things.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:41:47-00:42:15]
Yes. So the new online lessons will be at the end of July, but on Instagram, I'm Anna underscore Buffini, Facebook, Anna Buffini, TikTok, Anna Buffini, DM me on any of those platforms. Anna Buffini clinics at gmail.com. I'll be, I'll answer all those emails there. So you can find me in a lot of places and just send over a DM. I love hearing from everyone and, and helping as many writers as possible.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:42:16-00:42:34]
Awesome. So we're going to put that in the show notes. If you're listening, just scroll down and you can find the links. Anna, thank you so much for being here with us today. As always, it's just been an absolute pleasure. I had a blast speaking with you four years ago. I had even more of a blast speaking with you today. So thank you so much.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:42:35-00:42:39]
Thank you so much. And thank you for all of your work you do for the equestrian world. It's really awesome.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:42:40-00:43:17]
Thank you. Thank you for listening to this episode of the Equestrian Connection podcast by WeHorse. If you enjoyed this episode, it would mean the world to us if you could leave us a rating and review, as well as share us on social media. You can find us on Instagram at WeHorse underscore USA and check out our free seven day trial on WeHorse.com where you can access over 175 courses with top trainers from around the world in a variety of topics and disciplines. Until next time, be kind to yourself, your horses and others.